Uncommon Arrangements: Seven Marriages

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Katie Roiphe’s stimulating work has made her one of the most talked about cultural critics of her generation. Now this bracing young writer delves deeply into one of the most layered of subjects: marriage. Drawn in part from the private memoirs, personal correspondence, and long-forgotten journals of the British literary community from 1910 to the Second World War, here are seven “marriages à la mode”—each rising to the challenge of intimate relations in more or less creative ways. Jane Wells, the wife of H.G., remained his rock, despite his decade-long relationship with Rebecca West (among others). Katherine Mansfield had an irresponsible, childlike romance with her husband, John Middleton Murry, that collapsed under the strain of real-life problems. Vera Brittain and George Gordon Catlin spent years in a “semidetached” marriage (he in America, she in England). Vanessa Bell maintained a complicated harmony with the painter Duncan Grant, whom she loved, and her husband, Clive. And her sister Virginia Woolf, herself no stranger to marital particularities, sustained a brilliant running commentary on the most intimate details of those around her. Every chapter revolves around a crisis that occurred in each of these marriages—as serious as life-threatening illness or as seemingly innocuous as a slightly tipsy dinner table conversation—and how it was resolved…or not resolved. In these portraits, Roiphe brilliantly evokes what are, as she says, “the fluctuations and shifts in attraction, the mysteries of lasting affection, the endurance and changes in love, and the role of friendship in marriage.” The deeper mysteries at stake in all relationships.From the Hardcover edition.

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ISBN13: 9780385339384
Condition: NEW
Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
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Product details:

Item number (ASIN): 0385339380
Author: Katie Roiphe
Dewey Decimal Number: 809
ISBN: 0385339380
Manufacturer: The Dial Press
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 343
Package Dimensions: 90 x 550 x 820 (hundredths-inches)
Publication Date: May 20, 2008
Publisher: The Dial Press
Release Date: May 20, 2008
Binding: Paperback

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Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

Rating:

- Hell is Other People
It's a tried and true narrative technique - start the book at the pivotal moment then work backwards and ultimately forward from the event. The biography of the famous actor starts when he wins the Oscar. The true crime book starts at the scene of the murder. The business expose starts when the FBI shows up with arrest warrants. Katie Roiphe uses the same technique in Uncommon Arrangements: Seven Literary Marriages. The challenge is recognizing the pivotal event that both encapsulate and unhinge the marriage in question. If this book is any indication, literary marriages are very odd indeed. It's one thing to fret because your husband won't take out the garbage, it's quite another to wish he'd stop bringing his mistresses over for tea. These mini portraits run the gamut from seemingly traditional (H.G.Wells) to tragic (Katherine Mansfield) to litigious (Elizabeth von Armin) to groundbreaking (Vanessa Bell, Radclyffe Hall) to what I can only describe as "expansive" (Vera Brittain). At the center of these marriages is at least one enormous ego. Several feature multiple enormous egos (H.G. Wells and mistress Rebecca West, for example). If you're wondering whether an egomaniac can have a long, satisfying marriage this book is all the proof you'll ever need that peace and quiet won't be part of the equation. Perhaps it's the era (early 20th century) but I was struck by how many of these people seemed to be playing at marriage. It wasn't that they didn't take it seriously, but they did treat it like a spectator sport whether the larger the audience the more authentic the effort. Vanessa Bell also seems to extend this logic to her baths - if her good friend Duncan Grant wanted to shave and she wanted to have a bath, why not all pile in together. All the couples here can't wait to tell friends or their diaries all about the latest unconventionalities of their marriages. Which is impressive - it's not easy to write and pat yourself on the back for your modern outlook at the same time. The phrase "spoiled brats" came to mind several times while reading this book but to Roiphe's great credit not as often as it might have. Whether a husband is abandoning his gravely ill wife because sickness gives him the creeps or a husband is confessing that he has two pregnant mistresses on his hands, Roiphe manages to write with sympathy about these people while still maintaining a critical eye. One of her best lines is when she observes of John Murry "He seemed to believe .. that honesty itself would exonerate him." Also, while you're confessing, the spotlight is entirely on you. This is an engaging book that is often as much fun as a fabulously trashy novel. Affairs, open marriages, lawsuits, interior decorating and shopping addiction are all on prominent display. Roiphe is entranced by "how ardently they tried" to make their non-traditional marriages work and there is something sweetly charming about, say, how proud Katherine Mansfield and husband John Middleton Murry are of their steadfast devotion to each other - even though they can't manage to stay in the same county together for more than a week. It's also a bit comforting to see that even when one stretches the boundaries of what "marriage" means, it's still hard work in any era.

Rating:

- Fabulous
This is a beautifully written book, refreshingly and surprisingly free of cliches.Roiphe has an uncanny sensitivity for the intimate lives of others.

Rating:

- Engrossing
I am not sure how I became aware of this book in the first place or why I ended up buying it, but I am so glad I did. I hated for it to end and I savored every page. It's so well written that you almost feel like you know these subjects better than their spouses did - and maybe you do. In short, it's an insightful and well-researched look into the private worlds, thoughts, and marriages of some very interesting people - and also proof that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Rating:

- Uncommonly Intriguing
"Some of the hand-wringing about marriage in the twenties remains eerily relevant to today's marriages." So says Katie Roiphe, the author of this most intriguing literary biography. She explores the marriages of seven of the most luminous writers and artists of the twenties -- including H.G. Wells, Katherine Mansfield and Elizabeth Von Arnim (who penned "Enchanted April".) Each vignette is centered around a moment of crisis that creates a need for a creative and unorthodox solution. Katherine Manfield develops a "child-love" with her husband, who is not able to rise to challenge of helping her through the tuberculosis that kills her at age 34. H.G. Wells "creates" his wife Jane -- even giving her a new name -- and then indulges in no-responsibility affairs with Rebecca West, among others. Ottoline Morrell gives herself over totally to nurturing rising artistes, only to be stabbed in the back by those she most befriended. And then there's Radclyffe Hall -- otherwise known as John -- who is surprisingly Victorian, despite her long-time relationship with her "wife" Una Trobridge and her lover, Evguenia Souline. As the author says: "One cannot fall into 'meagre repetitions', one cannot live automatically, one cannot simply live the way everyone else is living: one has to have the constant energy, the constant imagination, the constant refueling affection, because one is making up a life as one goes along." This book is highly recommended for everyone who is navigating a marriage and who is curious about how others handled their own, and how they confronted domesticity and long-term emotional involvement. It's particularly recommended for anyone with a literary bend; it's downright fascinating to see how those famous literary individuals from 1910 to World War II lived their lives. And, as an extra plus, it's compulsively readable and "dishy."

Rating:

- Uncommon Lives
This book is written in short chapters that describe the atypical marriage relationships of wealthy, well-known writers and their friends in post-Victorian England. There is a great deal of overlap in the stories about the various couples, so one person's spouse will show up as the friend, lover, or confidant in another story about a different marriage. It's all rather incestuous, and the resultant homogeneity of the milieu studied by the author paradoxically makes more mundane the seeming differences she wishes to stress. It's well to keep in mind that the time and place under study was one characterized by very rigid social roles, especially for women; still, one wonders whether a study across cultures might not have proven more meaningful. As it is, the book seems almost the story of an extended family, rather than a review of disparate marriage arrangements.