Fan art & fan fiction > Expaned version of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Me

Here you can post your own art, stories, movies, and other creative creations that are inspired by the story of Alice in Wonderland.
adams2018

Expaned version of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Me

Postby adams2018 » Sun Apr 23, 2017 1:34 am

Here is the expanded version adapted by me. : https://www.wattpad.com/story/106962454 ... wonderland

alicefan95
Disappearing Cheshire Cat
Posts: 9
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2016 12:59 am
Location: Michigan

Re: Expaned version of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Me

Postby alicefan95 » Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:07 am

It's an interesting alternative to the actual book, but it could use a bit more editing to make the passages from "Looking Glass" segue into each other better.

For instance, you have the end of the Caucus Race chapter, where she "heard a pattering of feet in the distance, and she dried her eyes to see what was coming ." Then you immediately cut to her walking to Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee, without explaining what Alice heard approaching. Then, at the end of the Tweedle chapter, you mention Alice seeing a handkerchief blowing in the wind, and the next sentence is, "It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again..." Arranging the passages this way implies that the White Rabbit is the handkerchief, which makes little sense, even in a nonsensical story like Alice in Wonderland.

With that said, I think this is a very good idea for an alternative version of the book. I just think it could use a little improvement.


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